Concept of Settling down: a Perspective by Gazala Shaikh


Some years back I was watching an interview of Sania Mirza on NDTV. She was asked by one of the most prominent journalist Rajdip Sardesai after a grand slam win that when is she settling down? She asked what is his idea of for the woman to settle down? She got answer that she has got married and won a grand slam so it was time to start the family and settle down. To that she replied that why does having husband and family is the only way to settle down... and that stirred an argument that what is the concept of settling down.

I am in mid-thirties and single, having a great job, quite successful in my professional life, taking care of the family and maintaining my relationship with family, relatives and friends very easily. So, to me, I am a settled person but the society and sometimes my own friends have the same question for me on regular intervals that when I am planning to settle down? Why do we relate the idea of settling down with marriage and parenthood? I am not anti-marriage neither I hate the idea of having a life partner. But I have a problem with the idea of connecting my relationship status to my success and once again my settlement. I am happily independent and do not have any regrets in life. Even in today, the idea of single woman handling things and life on her own is quite unbelievable. Three years back I went to buy a car and I was told that as I am single, as per the rules, I should have a male co-owner with me. Believe me, it didn't stop there! Every time I get calls from the Bank or a Car Company I am asked, "Am I talking to Mr. Gazala?" To which once I got so irritated and I ask why do they keep asking so? To my shocking surprise, a person over the phone said that, its quite unbelievable for a 35 years old single woman to own a car and paying back the loan. I am sharing this experience with almost everyone around me to make them realise that a woman can settle down even without the help of man and same can go with the men around us. When will we come out from this gender bias!?

Author is an Assistant Professor of English at Shri Vanraj Arts and Commerce College, Dharampur.
Photo Credit: https://goodfriends.blog/
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